After much thought and contemplation, I must make four important announcements today.
First, I have transferred my baseball allegiance from the Atlanta Braves to the New York Yankees. I can no longer resist the Dark Side; I'm just not as strong as Luke Skywalker.
Second, I have given up on the Georgia Bulldogs football team and am ready to pledge my devotion to the mighty Florida Gators. Maybe it's because Fitzgerald looks like a swamp these days due to our heavy rains, but I have decided that it is indeed great to be a Florida Gator.
Third,I have decided to stop resisting the All-American urge to embrace and adore celebrity and exhibitionism and thus I am going to replace my previous pledge never to watch "reality" television with a new pledge to watch every "reality" program that I can, even if I have to DVR them.
Fourth, I have concluded that I should turn in my Baptist ministerial credentials so that I can embrace and seek a ministerial role in another, more interesting tradition; I have not decided between Hasidic Judaism, Rastafarianism, Scientology, and Dawkinsian Atheism.
Your fellow traveler,
P.S. Please note the date on which this was posted before sending threatening emails.